Top reasons why Santa Clause comes only when everybody’s asleep.

For Christmas Eve, here are the top reasons why Santa Clause comes only when everybody’s asleep.

1. He’s got warrants.
2. He’s doing the Lady Godiva thing.
3. He’s ashamed of his neck tattoos.
4. He’s Mahmoud Ahmedinejad. People would freak.
5. He has a strict no-autograph policy.
6. He wants to be able to avoid paparazzi when he vacations.
7. He doesn’t want to run into his ex-wife. Or her lawyer.
8. He owes money. To organized crime.
9. He has a male part where his nose should be.
10. He can’t go out in sunlight because he’s a vampire.