Boris Berezovsky made billions buying assets of the former Soviet Union.
But he quarreled with Russian president Vladimir Putin, and he had to flee to England. There, he lost his fortune in a lawsuit. The judge issued a ruling that called him an "inherently unreliable witness, who regarded truth as a transitory, flexible concept". (Financial Times.) He had another lawsuit pending, which his lawyers told him to settle. They told him that he was not a reliable witness. He was broke.
Then recently, he was found dead in his bathroom. "According to police, he was found with a ‘ligature’ around his neck, his death consistent with hanging." (Financial Times.)
His circumstances before his death bear comparison with a man of ancient times who had vast wealth, a family that he loved, and good health. Then his wealth was swept away, his children were obliterated, and his health was ruined. Once a great man, he sat in ashes, in poverty, in loneliness, in sickness, and he scratched with broken potsherds the sores that covered his body. His name was Job.
Berezovsky responded to his ruin with despondency:
The journalist from Russian Forbes magazine who met him hours before his death said Berezovsky seemed "distressed", his hand shaking, and had said his "life had lost meaning". [Financial Times.]
When he received the news that his wealth and his children were torn away, Job said this:
"Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." [NRSV.]
There was a psychological hardiness to Job that eluded Berezovsky.
Job had a firm foundation of strength that he could stand upon when the rock of his wealth crumbled. In a time when many, like Berezovsky, would lose even the will to live, Job even had the strength to defend himself against his friends Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, who tried to convince him that he, Job, must have invited catastrophe upon himself by sin. And in making his defense, Job showed the rock of his inner strength.
When Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar tell Job that he must deserve what he got, Job tells them of his works of love, his works of obedience to God. He clothed the naked. He took the side of the widow and the orphan. He helped the poor.
I delivered the poor who cried,
and the orphan who had no helper.
The blessing of the wretched came upon me,
and I caused the widow’s heart to sing for joy.
I put on righteousness, and it clothed me;
my justice was like a robe and turban.
I was eyes to the blind,
and feet to the lame.
I was a father to the needy,
and I championed the cause of the stranger.
I broke the fangs of the unrighteous,
and I made them drop prey from their teeth. [Job 29:12-17 (NRSV).]
Job’s virtue was not coincidental to his strength. Jesus spoke about the difference between people who hear what he says and do it, and people who only hear. The difference is the difference between Job and Berezovsky. This is what Jesus said in Luke chapter 6:
"Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I tell you? I will show you what someone is like who comes to me, hears my words, and acts on them. That one is like a man building a house, who dug deeply and laid the foundation on rock; when a flood arose, the river burst against that house but could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not act is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the river burst against it, immediately it fell, and great was the ruin of that house." [NRSV.]
Trouble comes. The world is taken away from every man and every woman. Every bond with life on earth is broken. One day, every man and woman becomes Berezovsky. Or Job.
I do not live like Job. I am not blameless before God. No matter how hard I try to live right, I will in the end depend upon grace.
But I make an effort. If God gives me wisdom I will not ignore him while I have strength and resources. I will live in thankfulness for present blessings and labor to build my house upon a rock of obedience to the word of God. I hope that in my time of trauma like Job I may bless the name of the Lord.
I would love to be able to look back on my life and say that I died a little every day, so that at the end death has no sting. Maybe that’s for me an impossible goal. But it’s a goal.
There was a time when I could not pray. That time is over now. I hope it will be over forever.
But prayer is not always easy.
This is my routine: generally, I pray twice a day – morning and night. I start by reading the Bible. I read the Old Testament in the morning, the New Testament at night. What I read in the Bible often shapes my prayers.
But here’s the problem: at night, I often fall asleep. Sometimes I fall asleep as I read the Bible; sometimes I fall asleep before I start to pray or as I pray.
"Ah", my wise friends will say. "Don’t wait until you’re tired. Turn off Facebook, and pray early in the evening."
Good advice. Thank you, wise friends. But I follow that advice already. It doesn’t matter if I bring myself before God at 7:00 p.m. or 9:30 p.m.. Still, I fall asleep.
There are things I can do. I've learned that if I fast for a day or so, I can have the diligence in study and prayer that I want. At least for a time. When I was young, I used to fast on a weekly basis. But that didn’t make me closer to God. Now, I don’t plan to fast, Pharisee-like, on a regular basis. Now, it’s as-needed. It can sharpen me.
If others benefit from routine fasting, I praise their habit. But the sharpness that I get from irregular fasting is the only reason that I do it. I don’t like to fast. I am a reluctant fast-er.
But last time I fasted, it worked only for about a day. Then I was back to sleep in the evening when I wanted to spend time with God.
This is like Peter and other disciples when Jesus wanted them to pray with him in the garden of Gesthemane. They couldn’t stay awake, and neither can I. I only mention that to show that there is a Biblical precedent for sleeping when it’s time to pray; I don’t compare myself to any apostle, except in their spiritual frailty.
Often, study and prayer still happen. If I fall asleep at 7:00 p.m., I generally wake around midnight. Since I have to do something, I generally take up my study and prayer where I was when I gave up earlier in the evening, shut of the light, and rolled over on my side. Then, time well spent, I go back to sleep.
