Sleeping through Prayer

There was a time when I could not pray. That time is over now. I hope it will be over forever.

But prayer is not always easy.

This is my routine: generally, I pray twice a day – morning and night. I start by reading the Bible. I read the Old Testament in the morning, the New Testament at night. What I read in the Bible often shapes my prayers.

But here’s the problem: at night, I often fall asleep. Sometimes I fall asleep as I read the Bible; sometimes I fall asleep before I start to pray or as I pray.

"Ah", my wise friends will say. "Don’t wait until you’re tired. Turn off Facebook, and pray early in the evening."

Good advice. Thank you, wise friends. But I follow that advice already. It doesn’t matter if I bring myself before God at 7:00 p.m. or 9:30 p.m.. Still, I fall asleep.

There are things I can do. I've learned that if I fast for a day or so, I can have the diligence in study and prayer that I want. At least for a time. When I was young, I used to fast on a weekly basis. But that didn’t make me closer to God. Now, I don’t plan to fast, Pharisee-like, on a regular basis. Now, it’s as-needed. It can sharpen me.

If others benefit from routine fasting, I praise their habit. But the sharpness that I get from irregular fasting is the only reason that I do it. I don’t like to fast. I am a reluctant fast-er.

But last time I fasted, it worked only for about a day. Then I was back to sleep in the evening when I wanted to spend time with God.

This is like Peter and other disciples when Jesus wanted them to pray with him in the garden of Gesthemane. They couldn’t stay awake, and neither can I. I only mention that to show that there is a Biblical precedent for sleeping when it’s time to pray; I don’t compare myself to any apostle, except in their spiritual frailty.

Often, study and prayer still happen. If I fall asleep at 7:00 p.m., I generally wake around midnight. Since I have to do something, I generally take up my study and prayer where I was when I gave up earlier in the evening, shut of the light, and rolled over on my side. Then, time well spent, I go back to sleep.