What's Up With Husband and Wives and Working and Eating?

Paul writes about husbands and wives in Ephesians 5:21-33. A lot of people hate the part about wives. It seems to encourage subjugation of women.

But the hated passage might be lighter than often thought. The reason is simple.

The part about wives is for wives. It's not for husbands to confront wives  with. It's for wives to consider and, as they see fit, to apply. And the part about husbands is for husbands.

But you be the judge.

1. The passage.

This passage launches with the husband and wife's mutual duties. Then it briefly counsels wives. The greatest and last part of this passage counsels (mostly) husbands:
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind – yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband. [NRSV.]
2. The shifting audience of the passage.
     
I'm not married, but this seems right for a husband: to live and breath part 1 (mutual duty) and part 3 (husband’s duties). These would apply to husbands.

Part 2, the wife’s duties, is not the husband's business.  It doesn't apply to him. Unless a husband has a special ministry of judging others, it serves him no purpose. The part in the prior sentence about the "special ministry of judging others" was meant ironically.

The wife’s duty is to examine part 2, to interpret it, to decide if it applies to her, and, as she sees fit, to adopt it as her practice. A wise woman doesn't need anyone else's theological pathfinding skills to find her way in this. Though like all of us, she's free to reach out.

3. The guiding principle.

The principle is simple: the Bible is written for all people at all times, but not all parts pertain to every person. And a part might pertain to a person at one time, but not at another. For the student of the Word, discernment and the Holy Spirit are the indispensable helpers.

And, subject to the  Holy Spirit, the narrower principle is this: the Bible wasn't written as a tool to hector people with. It wasn't written to help the husband to control his wife, or for a wife to control her husband. It was written to bring both under the control of God. Husband and wife need to reflect on how God wants them to treat their spouse.

Since the husband controls what he does, he needs to seek God to know his duty to his wife. Since the wife controls what she does, she needs to seek God to know her duty to her husband. And this seeking doesn't end in an answer. It's a conversation. The conversation involves, but is not limited to, the life story of the husband and the wife, the Holy Spirit, prayer, and many parts of the Bible. It neither begin nor ends in Ephesians.

4. The guiding principle in another context: rich and poor.

And it’s a principle that makes sense in other contexts, too.

For example, Proverbs is full of instructions and warnings to the lazy.
The sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing. [Proverbs 20:4 (KJV).] Or: How long will you lie there, O lazybones?
   When will you rise from your sleep?
A little sleep, a little slumber,
   a little folding of the hands to rest,
and poverty will come upon you like a robber,
   and want, like an armed warrior. [Proverbs 6:9-11 (NRSV).] Or: The lazy person buries a [fork] in the dish,
and will not even bring it back to the mouth. [Proverbs 19:24 (NRSV)(Where I write "fork", the original wording is "hand".)]
But the Bible is also full of admonitions to the rich and powerful about the poor. For example: You shall not pervert the justice due to your poor in their lawsuits. [Exodus 23:6 (NRSV).] Or: You shall not strip your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the alien: I am the Lord your God. [Leviticus 19:10 (NRSV).] Or: 'I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?’ Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ [Matthew 25:43-45.]
I don’t think that the proverbs were written to excuse the rich or the powerful when they overlook the poor. I don’t think that the passages from Exodus, Leviticus, or Matthew were written for the poor to use to hector the rich and the powerful. I think the proverbs are God’s special word for the poor or the lazy; I think the other passages are God’s special word to persons of means about their duty to the poor.

5. A contradiction to the principle?

Having said that, here’s this. Some would say it goes against my point.

Anyone unwilling to work should not eat. [2 Thessalonians 3:10.]

 6. Maybe not.

But let me say three things.

First, context matters. And that context shows (arguably) that Paul is addressing those who are "unwilling to work".
For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: Anyone unwilling to work should not eat. For we hear that some of you are living in idleness, mere busybodies, not doing any work. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. [2 Thessalonians 3:10-12.] Second, in another context, Paul says things opposite to and similar to the 2^nd Thessalonians passage about working and eating: Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. [Galatians 6:2 (NRSV).] And: For all must carry their own loads. [Galatians 6:5 (NRSV).] These seems paradoxical and contradictory. Unless, three verses apart, Paul addresses different people.

7.   But maybe.

But third, I accept that you plausibly could reject explanations 1 and 2.

Yet the larger idea is that scripture is written for all people at all times, and for particular people at particular times. Maybe in Thessalonians 3:10, God addresses me, and people like me, and he says, "Make your neat principles. I am God. And I burst out of neat principles."

Amen.

Going for The Big Kill

The link below is a now-infamous TV confrontation. It took place on Fox News between an interviewer and a Muslim professor with degrees in religion who wrote a book about Jesus. He argues that Jesus was not the son of God; he argues that Jesus was a political revolutionary, and only that.

The interviewer went for the Big Kill. She wanted to ask a question that would make Dr. Aslan implode with his supposed inability to respond. It didn’t happen. It wasn’t going to.

Simply put, she lacked the tools she needed to do what she wanted to do. She couldn't equal this man's knowledge of history or the Greek language. So she kept focusing the interview on his Muslim faith as if that disqualified his opinion. (It doesn't.) And she seemed to assert that there is some scholarly consensus about the historical Jesus. (There isn't.)


1. Ego versus humility.

She should have remembered that a debate doesn't begin when the camera turns on; nor does it end when the camera shuts off. Any TV interview contributes to an on-going debate. Instead of imagining that at the end of her segment she, like a gladiator, was going to hold up the bloody head of her adversary, she should have shown some curiosity, probed his beliefs. She should have trusted that truth will emerge over time.

She should have tried to contribute to the debate, instead of trying to end it.

Her approach wasn’t humble, and it wasn’t effective.


2. Comparison with cross-examination.

Many lawyers will tell you that you don’t win your case in cross-examination. In real courtrooms, there are few Perry Mason moments. Instead of winning your case in cross-examination, you win it in argument. (I’d say you win it in jury selection – but that’s another blog post.) In cross-examination, instead of making a Big Kill, you score small points, which add up. And you reveal their importance when you argue to the jury at the close of evidence, before jury deliberation begins.

This interviewer wasn’t going to make an argument to a "jury" at the end of her show. But what Dr. Aslan said would enter the stream of public discussion, to rise or fall. His ideas would not rise or fall at that moment, on that show. His ideas would rise or fall as they were probed and tested as time goes by.


3. A little piece of that ongoing discussion.

Badly handled as the interview was, there were things that pricked my interest.

I'm no Greek scholar. Dr. Aslan asserts that he is. But I'm really really accustomed to people claiming that the standard definition of a word is wrong, and that the "real" definition supports their conclusion. That's what Dr. Aslan does here, in part, to support his argument that Jesus was some kind of political firebrand, not the son of God.

That kind of argument is standard stuff. It’s standard stuff especially if you’re dealing with language as used thousands of years ago. The more ancient the usage, the harder it is to prove someone’s interpretation is wrong.

Maybe he's right. But I have no reason to doubt the usual, time-tested definitions that he quarrels with. I suspect that his arguments are plausible. But often there is a gap between plausible and right.


4. Don’t care.

I believe that the man is wrong about Jesus Christ. I won't read his book to see if I can out-argue him. I'm sure that I can't. I don’t care.

Maybe that seems like capitulation. It’s not. It’s lack of interest.

Many many years ago, that debate occupied me. But I decided that as I circled myself in my mind, that circling kept me from moving forward. So I made a decision and started a journey.


5. What matters more.

And on that journey, I have benefitted from people who could parse Greek, or biblical Hebrew, or Aramaic, the language that Jesus spoke. I’m grateful for their help.

But the people who have helped me more are the people who have prayed for me -- the ones I know about, and the ones I don’t.

The people who have helped me more are the good and true people who make the same journey that I am making. I am refreshed in their company and encouraged by their examples.

Biblical scholarship definitely it has it’s place, purpose, and value. I’ve benefitted from it myself. But I once decided that I would rather learn about Jesus from a great man or a great woman than a great scholar. That remains true today.

__________________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwWbPpFZ31s

Eden Deferred

As a young lawyer, I learned quickly that I wouldn’t always win when I was in front of a judge. So I learned to think this way: "If you can’t get what you want, figure out what you can get." And that’s good advice for life, too, I think.

In almost sixty years, I never got a wife. That gives me a sense that I've missed out. I've missed the company. Friends are delighting in grandchildren; it's a joy that I don't have.

But I’ve stepped off planes in Central America to feel embraced by the sweet air. I’ve gaped at great art from Madrid to Mexico City.

I can laugh at my own thoughts. I'm happy when I behold a good, new idea.

I have good health. I’m not a champion, but I feel like a champion when I do my laps in the pool. Or I can jog for a fair amount of time, and I can drink the scenery while I sweat from jogging.

I drink hope. I’ve had despair, so I’m grateful for hope.

I have a church that I cherish. It’s small. In the eyes of the world, small is bad, big is good. Small suggests failure, big suggests success. In what seems to be defiance of the laws of space and geometry, people push to squeeze into big. But in my small church, I’m easily accommodated.

Maybe I shouldn’t say small. Intimate is a better word. Personal is a good word, too.

People there are asking the same questions that I ask, and the pastors there help me find my way to God

My life has its troubles. I have my anxious times. I have my weakness, my worries, my angers, my disappointments, my humiliations.

I have my moments when I get blunt with God: God, I need a wife! This has been an issue in my prayers. The other day I complained to God about judges who always favor the government, no matter the law or the facts. That probably refreshed God, because he was probably glad to hear me, for a change, complain about something other than not being married.

A good marriage is a good thing. A partner with like interests and inclinations can make life better. And I’m not a man who is embarrassed by need. Nor is the Bible. From Psalm 19:

     In the deep [God] set a pavilion for the sun;
        It comes forth like a bridegroom out of his chamber;
        It rejoices like a champion to run its course.
        [Episcopal Book of Common Prayer.]

Imagine what happened in the bridegroom’s chamber that gave the bridegroom such energy.

Too true.

It’s also true that not everyone has a lot of money. Not everyone finds joy in a good book. Not everyone makes friends easily. Not everybody has children and grandchildren. Not everyone bursts from the bridegroom’s chamber. All of these can be good things. None are essential.

I have reason for contentment. When I miss contentment, I have reason for hope. It’s not a hope for freedom from longing or from the discontentments and the frustrations of the world. Really, nobody escapes those.

But sometimes, on a clear day, I look up and see the loveliness and largeness and majesty of the clouds. In such a moment, I may have a sense of the high and timeless. I may have a sense that one day I may know a joy that will make trivial all former longings and discontentments and frustrations.

The journey to that joy may go through marriage. A wife is a good thing, and I’m glad for my friends and relations who have partners, and who cultivate their marriages like a new Eden.

But I may not know that Eden. And, it’s a false choice, but if I had to choose between a wife and hope, hope is better. Hope itself is reason to be glad.

I've come to this blog post after a few hours away. I feel I need to add something.

It's true that sometimes the journey to joy goes through marriage. It's also true that sometimes it goes through sorrow. I would like find it by way of marriage. I don't wish to go to it through sorrow. But I might. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but tomorrow I will.

Some people have known deep sorrow. To them, complaining about not being married would seem shallow. I hope for such people that Jesus welcomes them on the other side of sorrow.

And I regret that I complain when my life doesn't seem happy enough. But I do.

Lord, thank you for the joy that I have had. Thank you for the blessings of my life. I pray that I may live in gratitude and hope. I pray that I may learn to crave that others may have joy, instead of craving for myself the joy I want but don't have. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Hunger, Heaven, and Hell

It's possible to worship God when you are afraid. But in fretfulness, I find it hard to pray. My dread can suffocate my prayer. I’m not proud of that. This humbles me before those who have a steel-hard spiritual strength that I lack. It forces me to reckon my own sin in one of its shapes, fear. Judge me or don't. Your call.

It’s possible to worship God when you are hungry. I have worshiped in hunger and thirst. But in those times I had chosen to be hungry and thirsty. It may be that hunger creates in the poor such dread that, like me in fretfulness, they find it hard to pray. And hunger alone might come between creator and creature. To be hungry is to be in danger of losing sight of God. Judge the hungry or don’t. Your call.

I don't have children. So my ability to worship while my daughter groans in her sleep for lack of food is entirely hypothetical. So I cannot judge the man with a hungry daughter who cannot lift his eyes to God.

This is a beautiful prayer, the beauty of which I would not wish on anyone:

     My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
        Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning?
     O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer;
        and by night, but find no rest. [Psalm 22:1-2 (NRSV).]


1. Helping the rich, hurting the poor.

That prayer might soon be the anthem of many hearts among America’s poor. An element of the House of Representatives has killed the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (food stamps).

But they gave billions of dollars to Big Agribusiness – $195 billion over 10 years.


2. Hurt has its reasons.

Many if not most of these members of Congress confess Christ. So I am enjoined from hating them. But if I could ask them a question, it would be this: Congressmen, how do you beautify helping the rich and hurting the poor? What is the biblical lipstick you put on your legislative pig? Is it Matthew 13:12?

For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. [NRSV]

I would say, Jesus did not mean that men and women of power in our time should add to corporations’ fleets of jets at the same time that they put discount bakery-remainders above the grasp of a poor family. Jesus was talking about understanding.

I would urge them, Get that; that is a prayer my for you: get understanding. Your authority is greater than mine, but I will seek it, too.

3. Hearing from heaven and hell.
I am unlikely ever to be among members of Congress, such that we could share what we know about God. But in my place and time, I might share my ideas with Christian men and women who might share such ideas back at me.

And when two or three are gathered in his name, Jesus is there. I hope he brings Lazarus, from his parable, who was poor, who had sores that dogs licked, who did not get even crumbs from the rich man’s table, who’s door he starved at. Lazarus suffered in his lifetime, but now he gets every good thing in heaven. And maybe Lazarus will pray his own gospel story into the hearts and minds of we who speak together about hunger. Lazarus stands for the poor and desperate in Jesus’s Palestinian days and in our present time.

But if Jesus does not bring Lazarus, maybe he will bring up from hell the other character in that parable – the rich man, who did not love Lazarus, who did not help him, who suffers now, who suffers unbearable thirst, who will suffer forever. Maybe, from the rich man’s mouth, in which lack of spittle makes his mucous congeal into tiny, sharp pebbles, he will rasp a warning not to enjoy our prosperity as if God had prospered us only for ourselves. Not that Jesus wants the rich to have less; he wants the poor to have more. He wants them not to be hungry.


4. Where Jesus will be.

After food stamps are cut off, if that is the final outcome, Jesus will be in America. Jesus will be among the poor, just as he was among the poor of Israel two-thousand years ago. In that time, he did not enter a palace until it was time to die.

And for every man, woman, and child who suffers, Jesus will know their suffering as if it were his own. It will be his own. When we afflict the poor, we afflict Christ. Isn't that revealed in the nature of a brother, a father, who loves perfectly?


5.  Prayer.

Jesus, pray Lazarus into our hearts. Amen.

Lonely

Many years ago, I knew a woman who was married a long time, and she was faithful to her husband until the day that she died, almost.

She longed for more than what she had. Then she thought that she had found what she longed for. It was a man her age who had similar interests. She was a teacher; he was a principal. She liked to golf. So did he.

And he would call her on the phone and read psalms to her. He would ask her what she thought that one psalm or another meant. And he would praise the beauty of the psalms.

They had an affair. It lasted a short time. Then he left her and started up with a PTA president.

In the short time that this woman had an affair with this man, she became deeply attached to him. He walked away, but her attachment to him stayed. She even stalked him. In addition to the attachment, another bi-product of the affair was her unbearable shame. She tried to take her life.

It had been her practice to pray every day. After the affair, when she went to pray, all she could say to God was "I’m sorry."

Within two-or-three years, she was dead. She did not reach the age of retirement before she died. On her deathbed, she confessed to loneliness.

Predators who clothe themselves in godly-seeming garments will always find it easy to take down women and men who long for God but don’t know how to find him, or don’t know that he is what they long for.

The rich find it easy to take down men or women who long for riches. (It is apparently an old saying that if you marry for money, you end up paying for it.)

Or someone might long for a highly-clever person. (I suspect that Russell Brand’s easy wit is what makes him to many women irresistible.) Or a beautiful person. Or a learned person. Or brave. Or famous. The ors could add up.

Statistics on marriage and divorce are kept by the Centers for Disease Control. I mention that without particular comment. The Centers for Disease Control tell us that every year, 6.8 people get married for every thousand persons in America; and 3.6 persons get divorced.

If I understand those statistics, more than half of all American marriages end up in family court. But a broad statistic like that says little. The first line of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina is, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." I've never been married, so I can't say. Nor can I judge any marriage that fails. I know for a fact that if I had married when I was younger, I would not have stayed married. That’s true no matter who I might have married. I was just too selfish.

That said, I believe the ability to live with longing and a willingness for that longing to be unsatisfied while we live is a gift from above. So is patience to channel our longing in a virtuous direction where we don’t necessarily get what we want, but we are at least somewhat satisfied with what we get.

When we burn for something, but we resist it for righteousness’s sake, maybe the smoke from that burning is a fragrance pleasing to God.

To this woman, this love affair drew her like a crackling bonfire on a winter’s night. While it lasted, it was a joy to her. It was less important to her lover. To him, discarding it was like flinging away a cigarette while reaching for another.

Let me say one last thing about the woman of this story. Please remember that she said that all she could pray after the affair was "I’m sorry."

I heard that from her in the time of her dying. Years after, I remembered that she had said that, and I thought of Jesus’s story in Luke 18, about the Pharisee and the tax collector. Both were in the temple. The Pharisee thanked God that he himself was so virtuous, not like other men, and, in particular, not like this tax collector. But the tax collector stood far off. He could not look up. In shame, he cried to God, "Have mercy on me, a sinner!" Jesus said that one of those men was justified before God, but not the other.

And these are words from Psalm 51:"The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (NRSV.)

I regret that I did not at the time think of this story, and this psalm, to share with this woman.

But I hope that, one day, she will hear them from the lips of an angel.

The Right Question

This was the morning of studying small children. I saw them in Trader Joe’s; I saw them in Von’s; I saw them in a parking lot. They were with their parents.

And they were adorable. So cute. So happy. So protected.

One little girl was with her sister and her father. Father and daughter were talking, and the only part of the conversation that I heard was this:

Little girl: "I’m not a sidekick. She’s a sidekick." (Pointing to her sister.)

Father: "Not sidekick. Psychic." (All adults grin.)

1. Theology lurking.

There’s theology lurking here somewhere.

Some of my friends who are not believers hold a theological magic lamp. Its genii  banishes any notion of the existence of God. That magic lamp is evil in the world. If God exists and God is good, why does that evil exist?

I am mortal and limited in my understanding, like they are. So ultimately they should take up an issue this big with God. If they don’t wish to go to God with their accusation, then they might find someone who has really, really suffered, and who believes. And they should ask that person, "Why"?

But here is a limited answer from a limited man:

You are asking the wrong question.


2. Why is there good in the world?

Because the better question is this: if power is irresistible, and if power corrupts, and if some folk have an almost supernatural ability to accumulate power, why is there good in the world?

Why can these lovely children be fed and protected and loved by prosperous, safe parents?


3. The difference a question makes.

I heard of a scholar, a theologian, who studied God and evil. He spent years peering into grotesque events. After years of investigation, he ceased to believe.

I can’t judge him, but maybe that was bound to happen.

Maybe Paul had his reasons when he said in Philippians 4:4-9 (NRSV):

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
Maybe Paul had his reasons when he said in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NRSV):
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
In a world where circumstances and powers and principalities conspire to steal away confidence in God, this habit of thanksgiving shelters faith.

Not that our thinking can add or subtract from God. He is not Tinkerbell.

But Hamlet is a theological play, and that theological play says this in act 2, scene 2: "[T]here is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Thinking affects belief. It affects how we know the world to be; that affects our ability to see what is within the cloud that surrounds God.


4. Easier for some than others.

It’s easier for me to give this answer, sitting in my office munching crusty french bread and sipping cold water, than it is for a woman sitting at the sterile bedside of her infant who’s lungs are failing. Or a holocaust survivor. Or a man without food for himself and his family. I cannot judge these people if they cannot believe, or if they cannot give thanks.

And maybe it’s easier for me to say what I say than it was for Paul himself. Or maybe not. But Paul did say these things, and in his life he was blinded, shipwrecked, beaten, whipped, stoned and left for dead, starved, exposed in harsh weather, and imprisoned. Yet he believed.

Thank you, Lord, for Paul. He inspires me.


5. What to do.

But the fact is that it’s easier to believe when your mind is not seized with suffering, as some people’s minds are.

So it’s right, first, to pray, as Jesus said, that we not come into a time of trial.(Mark 4:38 (NRSV).) He said this to his disciples in Gethsemane, as he knew he was about to be arrested, tortured, and crucified. Cruel circumstances have made the hopefulness of better people than me whither. Although for others, it has increased their faith.

Second, it is our missionary duty to help those who suffer. This theology regards the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (food stamps) as a sacrament.

And we need to remember to be grateful to God in good times. We should remember to be grateful to see adorable, happy, safe, well-fed children. If we can’t do that, we have no hope when trouble comes.

Other People’s Sins

I know someone who is starting a divorce. I was telling him that, before I regained my hope of salvation, I might have married someone unsuitable. The person I was speaking with waived away that concern. "You could have married her and just seen if it would work out."

I exploded. "I just can’t! That’s not biblical!"

"Not biblical." It probably came across as "NOT BIBLICAL!" Harsh words to a man at the beginning of a divorce. 

But I was jolted by that attitude. Yet, I might have served him and me better by staying calm and understanding how he and I are alike.

1. The curse of talent.

It’s easy to be outraged by someone else’s sin.

It’s like a judge I was in front of in Orange County. At a hearing for a violation of my client’s probation, I was explaining my client’s mitigating circumstances. My middle-aged client had lost her husband, who had discovered that, with his new prosperity, he was now attractive to a girl no older than their daughter. Also, my client had always enjoyed excellent health, but she had started having seizures. Her marriage and her health were the solid ground under her feet, and they had crumbled beneath her. As her ground wobbled, her morality had wobbled.

But the judge cut me off. She said, "I’ve had a hard life, too. If I could overcome, anyone can."

I was angry that the judge believed that everybody had her gift for overcoming hardship. Good for her, but not everybody has that gift.

I worked under a woman who was an organizational genius. She couldn’t fathom my disorganization. On the other hand, she seemed not to grasp the overarching theme of a criminal case; I was much better at that than she was.

Some of my friends are great athletes. They love to exercise. Others don’t naturally find in themselves that gift of physicality. It’s not laziness; it’s different-ness.

2. Doing right, doing wrong.
 
And I seem to follow some biblical directions more easily than others. Passing over my virtues, here are some ways that I tend to fall short.


Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you. [Matthew 5:39-42 (NRSV).]
I have resisted lawsuits against me; I routinely say No to people in the street who ask for money; and I don’t lend to every person who wants to borrow from me. And that would make me "unbiblical."

And:
[E]veryone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [Matthew 5:27 (NRSV).]
I won’t give details; trust me.

Then he will say to those at his left hand, ‘You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?’ Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." [Matthew 25:41-46 (NRSV).]
I have a closet-full of expensive suits, and there is a continent-worth of hungry people in the world.

(I see a trend. These are all from the book of Matthew. Is there an argument that Matthew doesn’t belong in the Bible? Anyone?)

3. The gift of discontent.

Enough. Point made. I’m grateful that God has enabled me to have what virtues I have. But when they come to mind, my faults make me uncomfortable. They humble me (and I need humility); they make me know that I depend upon grace; and they give me an ache to be better than I am – and good must come of that.

No small part of that discomfort is my distance from the dominant theology of this American age -- a theology that says that salvation is easy. I will never lack need of grace; but with God’s help I will continue to be better at seeking and doing the will of God. That’s because "Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven." (Matthew 7:21 (NRV).)

4. Sympathy.

But I fall short. God have mercy when I forget that.

So I can’t judge this divorcing person. He made a mistake that I’ve somehow avoided, and he can’t bear the burden of the bad marriage. People fall under all kinds of temptations that aren’t tempting to me, or that are, but I manage to resist them. But I succumb to faults that others walk away from.

5. Preaching and futility.

And maybe I shouldn’t judge churches that screech against homosexuality as if men were slipping out their backdoor together even as the preacher preached; but in fact everyone sitting solemnly in the chairs in front of the preacher is like-minded on that subject.

I wonder about churches that preach sermon after sermon about the evil of abortion, yet nobody who attends that church would remotely consider an abortion.

I wonder about the liberal minister who preached an Easter sermon to Barack Obama and condemned the hard-heartedness of Republican politicians.

All of their own sins are dealt with? They have to talk of the sins of others?


6. Priorities.

Flight crews instruct passengers that in case oxygen masks come down, each passenger should put on his own mask before helping others. The Bible is like that.

Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye. [Matthew 7:3-5 (NRSV).]
So true. And so common in our consciousness that – I think I can speak for myself here – we risk losing sight of it’s power.

7.  Joy in heaven.

Luke 15:7 says that angels rejoice when a sinner repents. It’s not easy for me to change my ways, but it’s easier for me to change my ways than it is for me to make someone else change theirs. So if I make joy in heaven, it will more likely happen when I look in, not out.