In Praise of Older Women

The first and best praise of older women is a famous letter by Benjamin Franklin, who would know. But here, for the 21^st Century, are my dozen praises.

1. Almost anyone who has lived for a time knows that hard times come. It’s good to have a wise ally in hard times. This is more likely to be the seasoned woman than the unseasoned one.

2. Meeting high expectations is draining. A seasoned woman’s expectations are based on reality; a younger woman’s might be based on hopes and dreams.

3. Seasoned women have been through a lot, and they’ve survived a lot. This often gives them a reservoir of self-esteem, a sense of moral momentum.

4. Seasoned women are more loving. They’ve learned to love with children, husbands, long-time friends. Young people, less so.

5. Physical decline is compensated by moral improvement and all of the other advantages of age. And physical appearance is overrated. Often, even young people don’t keep themselves up. Yet some older women do. A fit older woman is special. A less fit older woman is often no less fit than many younger women.

6. Time gives accomplishments to the seasoned women. Maybe they have developed a love of language. Or they have a time-honed sense of humor. In their years, they might have added to their knowledge of the world. They might be well traveled. They might be professionally skillful. Attention over time might make them politically aware. Their life and times likely have supplied them with a collection of stories, and the judgment to know which stories to tell. They are better conversationalists than younger women.

7. Seasoned women are less self-centered and more interested in other people. They’ve grown exhausted with self-obsession as years passed by, and they’ve become connoiseurs of others. If they dance in front of a mirror, they’re more likely to look at their partner than themselves, compared to a young person. They’re likely to be generous, and to have generosity of spirit. Because at a certain point, their lives stopped being all about them.

8. A seasoned woman is more likely to be a seasoned lover. They not only have knowledge of physical love-making; they’re also more likely to know how to make a relationship work.

9. Seasoned women are more direct. They know that time won’t last forever. They’re more likely to get to the point. They’re less likely to waste time. That’s true if a relationship isn’t working. Or, if it is working, they’re more likely to call attention to their realistic wants, needs, and hopes.

10. Romance can be more spontaneous, because you are less likely to be surprised by children, in any sense.

11. Seasoned women judge less. They’ve made mistakes themselves. They know their own frailties. Therefore, they’re less likely to look down on others.

12. The passage of time gives a woman, more likely, a gentler grip on a relationship. They’re more likely to have had relationships that had a beginning, a middle, and an end. They know the arc of a relationship. They understand that not all relationships last forever. So they’re more likely to savor a relationship in the moment, without trying to store it for the future like a squirrel stores an acorn. But if a relationship lasts from day to day into forever, they know enough to cherish the specialness of that.

So older women are worthy of praise.

And somewhat the same could be said about older men.