I
"'To answer your question, I never touch alcohol, but sometimes I smoke a little weed to help me sleep', [Mitt Romney] said. 'After half a joint, I'm floating on a cloud, which is helpful during a political campaign.'
"Asked by an audience member if he ever used marijuana for any reason other than a sleep-aid, the visibly enthusiastic candidate replied, 'Well, not to get too personal, but my wife and I sometimes toke a little sativa to get in the mood. And', he said, smiling broadly, 'it doesn't hurt the sex.'
"When an elderly woman worried that he was risking arrest, the candidate replied, 'The only part of a hotel room, usually, that isn't air-tight is the door. And that's what wet sheets and thumbtacks are for.'"
REMARKS that MITT ROMNEY never said, which were never REPORTED ON FOX NEWS
II
"Asked how he [Romney], with his privileged upbringing, could relate to ordinary Americans, the Republican front-runner replied, ‘Gosh, you might be surprised. There was more to my growing up than sterling-silver salad forks. There were some tough kids distributed among the rich kids in my high school. If they wanted your wallet, you gave it to them, or you got beat up. You gave up your wallet, simple as that. Unless you’d already given up your wallet to the last guy. Then you had two choices: take a beating or spread ass. I don’t remember taking too many beatings.’"
STATEMENT never MADE BY MITT ROMNEY and never REPORTED IN THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
III
"At the late-night question and answer session with hospitality workers, the weary candidate was asked what forms of entertainment he was enjoying while in Las Vegas, Before he could frame an answer, Governor Romney was interrupted by a man in a green t-shirt who shouted, ‘Hookers!’
"A red-faced Governor Romney, stammered, ‘That’s, that’s not the nomenclature I would use.’
"Someone in the newly-attentive crowd shouted out, ‘How much did you pay?’ Immediately, a bearded man in a denim vest with what appeared to be a biker patches shouted out, ‘Six-hundred bucks!’
"A surprised-looking candidate said, ‘Golly, I wouldn’t think you’d pay less than ten-thousand dollars. Any less than that, and wouldn’t you be afraid of catching a disease?’
"This led the front-running Republican to dilate with nostalgia. ‘It was different when I was young', he said. ‘I remember when I was overseas. You’d walk up to a prostitute, and in their crude English, they’d say, "Five dollar. Ten dollar no condom." But if you tried to save money, you’d still have to buy a condom. So you only ended up saving four dollars and fifty cents.’
"Governor Romney turned to his right and was able to see a campaign staffer make a circling gesture with his finger. The candidate turned back to the crowd and said, 'And that’s how you know I’ll be careful with your tax money.'"
BLOOMBERG NEWS nor anyone else ever broadcast this fabricated ACCOUNT OF MITT ROMNEY IN LAS VEGAS
IV
"Speaking to a group of elderly men and women on the Las Vegas strip, candidate Romney remarked, ‘I like the male strippers in Las Vegas. Their male organs are just the right length. They’re long enough so you say, "Hey, look at that!" But if they were any longer, you’d say, "What’s the point, unless he has a thing for ocean mammals?"’"
COMMENTS MITT ROMNEY never MADE TO LAS VEGAS SENIORS or anyone else, and never REPORTED IN THE LOS ANGELES TIMES.
V
"‘I don’t like to tip. I think it demeans the waiter or waitress’, Governor Romney said in an informal question-and-answer session with reporters. ‘But I might shake their hand and hand them a campaign button.’
"He said later, ‘No, it’s usually not a problem. In fact, sometimes it breeds respect. Usually, I don’t return to a place, because I’m off to the next city. But on one occasion I happened to return to a little café for breakfast, after I had had dinner there the night before. I asked the waitress, "What are these little brown lumps in my scrambled eggs?" She said, "That’s something special from the chef!"’"
MITT ROMNEY never said any of this, and it was not REPORTED IN THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE
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